Love

This past week i have been overwhelmed by love. Not by love which has been shown to me or by a love for others but by a love for myself. I don't mean that in a big headed way. I realised once i pondered what had changed that i haven't loved myself very much. I have spent many years trying to be someone i was not because, for some reason, i thought people would like me more if i was someone else. I suppose it came from the fact that i didn't really love me so couldn't see how others could. Dave, my husband, really loves himself but not in a cocky way, he's just happy being him. Sometimes i have felt envious of that self esteem. I hoped that some of his self esteem would rub off on me. It never did because it can't. I needed to learn to love me myself. I'm not sure where my lack of self esteem came from, you probably wouldn't think i had low self esteem if you were on the outside looking in. But it was always there. I didn't often feel i was good enough. I didn't often feel i made the mark. And all because i didn't love myself very much. I now feel indestructable. What a contrast. It feels good to love me. It feels liberating to love me. I wish everyone could love themselves. I don't think it's a coincidence that the second great commandment is to love thy neighbour as thyself. How can you possibly love others if you don't love yourself? I have come to realise that my Heavenly Father loves me because i am me. He doesn't want me to be anyone else. I am unique. That makes me even more special. I do not need to imitate others to be loved. I love being me.